I just don't understand.

I SERIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT DO YOU PEEPS OUT THERE WANTING FROM ME.
i don't, i seriously don't.

acting cute,
being bitchy,
being too american?
being too un-ladylike.

oh please.
uggh.

go ahead and say whatever you want.
i know some of them are true, yes i do know that, and i am willing to change.
but again, some things you peeps see and think it's so wrong that you might puke, it may not be the same as what am i thinking.

everyone has their personality / goods & bads.
i dont expect everyone to love me or anything.
just leave me alone.
well, if it's too serious, just go ahead and spit it all out on me. i dont mind lahh.

i know what you guys think might be true, but heyy, i DO have a piece of my mind, too.

example: my madness. me being crazy. my sense of humour.
yeah i know, i overreact, sometimes. my bad.
but again. i like to humour people. you cant just WASTE all the talent away like that. maybe
you can. but i can't. see. my life was never been nice. i wasnt a happy person as the way you
see me. everyone has their own insides & outsides.
i'm happy on the outside , bt i'm not quite sure about the inside part. i wasnt happy.
my life was never great. it was sad. and shouldnt be handled my a girl in my age this young.
i knew it hurts when you feel sad. i know my life wasnt happy, bt i know there are worst
things happening too. so i threw all the unhappy things in the corner of my heart and try
being happy. it worked. and i like cheering people up. i like laughing all the time, smiling
works, too. it's like drowing myself frm the pain i had. the more i laugh, the more i'm
happy, the more i forget abt the pain. lauging is just a better version of DRUGS. it heals
me, and it dosent harm. but some people dont understand. they think i may be trying to
attract attention? no i'm not. i'm just a girl trying to be happy. and i watch too much movies.
haha lol. i dont like crying. you may see me strong. bt i'm still just a girl. how strong could i
possabilly be? i cried alot. and i wan to stop it. i must learn to be strong. i know i have to.
THERE'S NUTHING WRONG FRM TRYING TO BE HAPPY.
but i just try TOO HARD sumtimes. and again, my bad. =/



pls understand.